I’m a football fan. I’m going to start with that and if you hate football or can’t tolerate sports analogies you may want to stop reading. If however, you appreciate the way we learn from teams there might be something in here for you.

The team I follow had an up and down season, more wins than losses, a lot of injuries, some significant disappointment at the end. I’ve worked hard for things and had it not come out as hoped, and I’ve worked hard and enjoyed the achievement but it feels different because it’s personal, not on display, not watched by millions, not with opinions broadcast across the world. That has to be hard when you lose, and when you win.

I’ve been thinking about this because after the last game of the season, when ‘we’ lost, I was disappointed, the hopes I had for what could be came to an end. But there too were the fans and the players on the other side who were elated. Both things were true at the same time and neither was more or less significant. When someone wins, for someone to win, someone else has to lose. That means that someone will be happy and someone else will always be sad. It is a zero sum game.

As soon as we start keeping score, once we measure time, or points, or distance, someone is going to be better than someone else. That’s how the system works. We don’t just say ‘different,’ we say ‘better.’ I don’t think that is a bad thing, I wouldn’t wish us to all be the same, or to do away with contests, or to ignore feats and accomplishments. In fact it is the differences when brought together that makes a team, and the different abilities fit together like a puzzle that work to create something greater than what an individual could do alone. That’s the value of being a part of a team, being more than what you are by yourself. And I wonder about being a part of a team that plays a game where the outcome is not about points or passes or yards or goals.

In 1 Corinthians, Paul spends a fair amount of time reminding us that we may be playing different positions but it takes all of us, together, to accomplish the vision of God at work in the world. The team we are playing against tries to tell us that one position is better than another, that one part is more important, and if we believe that our team will fall apart. But if we trust that we each have a role, an equally valued role, and we know what that role is, we can do great things together.

After the last game of the season, some players excited for what was next, some disheartened and reflective, they came together, they hugged each other, said encouraging words, offered compliments, kindness, congratulations, and consolation. These (mostly) young men who win and lose for a living demonstrated, as they do week in and week out, the real lesson of being a part of a team, the big team, and that is that we each have a role at a particular time and part of that role is to take care of each other. We do that in little ways for our smaller teams, trying to accomplish this or that goal, but we also need to do that for the bigger team, the human team, where we know that sometimes we hurt and need comfort, sometimes we are joyful and appreciate the affirmation, we will all win some, we will all lose some.

Every year my husband and I watch a show called Hard Knocks in the late summer. It follows one team through training camp, a season of only hopefulness. A few years ago one of the coaches, I don’t remember who, paraphrased someone else saying, “It’s not about winning. It’s about who you are when you win and lose.” We are all going to do both, we are all going to be happy and sad, a lot of times there are people we care about, people we respect, feeling just the opposite of what we feel in the same moment. The key I think is to remember we are always all on the same team.