We have two pretty consistent “games” we play in our family: one I like to call ‘zombie apocalypse’ in which we discuss strategies for surviving in the event of such a situation. I am not a fan of zombie movies or books and so I am at a disadvantage in this game both due to lack of knowledge and lack of interest. I play along though. I ask questions, I have my weapon of choice (square point shovel), I try to argue for keeping me around because I have a pretty good sense of the edibility of wild plants and I’m a good gardener. I know my children love me and I appreciate their honesty; it is unlikely I survive because of my proclivity to want to save and/or help people. At least I’ll be remembered fondly.

The second game we “play” is called ‘loud and heated theological debate’ (this is my name, and it isn’t really a game). This one I really love and I have a lot to contribute. Sometimes too much and I am accused of preaching not engaging in conversation. It isn’t so much that I think I’m right, this isn’t really a topic one can be “right” about, it’s more that I have a lot of varied information that I want to share to inform the conversation. I would probably benefit from taking a few moments to focus my thoughts before responding, but given my family if you wait too long the subject has shifted and we have already moved on to another aspect of debate; you have to move fast with this group.

My husband and I recently had a chance to visit with our son for a few days. He just turned twenty-five and gratefully he still wants to spend time with his parents, and he humors me by playing ‘loud and heated theological debate.’ He is a professed agnostic and something of a logician but given God’s sense of humor I would not be surprised if someday he is teaching or preaching faith. At any rate we had a good round of word-play spurred by the idea of God’s purpose in placing a forbidden tree in the middle of a garden. I’ll not get into the nuance of the conversation, what I found really interesting is how we approached the changing meaning of certain words, or more precisely how we deal with a changed understanding of words.

We have access to so many more resources today than we did when the King James Bible was first produced five hundred years ago; our understanding of ancient texts, the availability of more content to work from in translating, deeper cultural awareness of the people and places from whence these words all came, all of this makes an impact when we read a word or phrase – it’s not just style, it is the essence of theologic revelation. You see it across the various translations of scripture, and I think the words are a really big deal. I laugh thinking of the example from Pirates of the Caribbean: is it a rule or a guideline? The difference can be profound.

When you use the right word at the right time it can clarify purpose, relationship, instruction. It can free you from a place of being stuck, it can provide the guidance you need to take the next step, it gives the nuance to your perception of the world. In Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown deeply considers the meaning and our understanding of different words for emotions. Acceptance and belonging, jealousy and envy, for me knowing the difference is freeing. It helps me to know and address what a desire or a discomfort is precisely. Imagine two thousand years from now someone trying to translate the meaning of a thumbs up emoji; acknowledgment, agreement, an intention to support? The emoji dictionary says the two hands pressed together is ‘thank you,’ I use it to show prayer. Whose right? What’s the context?

When God was providing information about that tree was it that you must not, you should not, you may not, you will be punished, you will have a consequence, you will learn something? The words matter. How we understand the words matter. How we use words matters. We use words to convey meaning and value; with all the AI and auto-correct now we say to each other ‘oh you get the idea’ when what I meant to say is not what appears on the screen. We use a picture instead of a word and let the other person figure it out. Close enough.

But I’m not sure that close enough is good enough, not when you are trying to love someone or when you are accepting the love of another. Is it philo, agape, storge, eros? Taking the time to say it right matters, taking the time to understand what is being said, being willing to accept that we might not know, trusting what we can see and feel in our lives, showing up with the right thing and the right time for the person who needs it, that might matter more.